Alan Wake was trapped. He was trapped in his dark twisted nightmare that he foolishly inflicted on himself. It wasn't untill he reviewed the malevolent pages that trapped him here to begin with that he understood what had become him. The game was changing. Everything had new rules and a new logic that he was not familiar with. Things that were once important no longer mattered to him and thing he never thought about now became his lifelines. Things have changed.
Darren woke up. He wasn't in some forest. He wasn't on some long adventure with no end. He was in his god damn room. Typing pointlessly on a computer that he bought for university. He sat there wondering why any of this crap mattered to him. Why one person could ruin everything, Why simple thoughts could turn you mad. He thought about it briefly, but as he typed those things he came to one conclusion. They do not matter. Nothing that he once cared about mattered. It was useless shit. This whole fucking blog means nothing. It is merely a way to collect my thoughts in a coherent manner that doesnt confuse the fuck out of me when I'm thinking about it.
So lets discuss this, so called conclusion, that I have come to. I am me. That's it. I act the way I want to. I don't act the way I don't want to. I have my own life that is unhindered by people who I don't like. Now people I don't like consists of people who, AT THAT POINT IN TIME, I feel are negative influences. I have friends, only a few true ones, the rest are aquaintences. I just care about the friends and I like that I only have a few. It's more intimate that way. That girl that I always talked about. The one who I claimed "ruined my life." She is an interesting case. She borders on the line between friend and aquaintence. Her actions will determine her placement, but right now I don't care. I mean i really don't want her to be a part of my life. I mean I like to think I'm strong or pretend that I have the upper hand, but she does. When I talk to her she even abuses that power. Why do I sink to her control so easily? I even think about her slightly when I make a decision. It has to stop. I want to be happy, so I will try my best to be exactly that. Happiness is as easy as wanting it and going for it. Life will NEVER kill me unless they use an actually leathal meathod :P It is all just words and feelings. If they're my feelings then I should have the control. If they are her words then I should crush them in my mind vice (to quote 30 Rock). This war is over. I'm winning.
