The forest has been particulalry harsh to me over the past couple days. I've been sleep deprived, injured and my equipment has been broken. I was sent to my lowest point and I felt like I could not escape. However, the story is not over. As I lied there in the maze of trees I found a small light to help guide from the confusion and pain. I found people.
These people helped me up and gave me comfort and asked me to follow them. As we walked through the woods we spoke for a long time. We talked about philosophy, life and love which infused me with new ideas and returned some of my broken sanity. I can now look at my situation from an objective perspective and I have only those kind men to thank.
I may be in hell right now, but I am not the only one. She is experiencing her own hell. I am not the only one being hurt. She is too. She is dealing with her own adventure, that is as great of a challenge as mine, and I am no longer there to provide the support that she so often deserved. She has gone through her own hardships and she has experienced great pain. Not to mention that she has been forced to observe my decent into insanity, constantly being reminded of the pain she inflicted on me. She must cope with being alone in a foreign place as I am now. I just wish I could be there for her. She truely cares. I know now she does. I must never forget this concrete fact. She just doesn't want to hurt me anymore than I already am.
You see, everything that I saw in her; every joy, insight, experience, and emotion is now inside me. I now have that power because she gave it to me. I can use it as the light to guide me through this endless maze and maybe find a purpose for all this pain finally. However, as inspiring as this message is I am still the loneliest I have ever been, but at least I have people that can provide me company and direct my attention away from my lonelyness. I now know that I can release the tension and fury inside me. It won't be instantaneous, but slowly, day by day, I may be able to expell it little by little. My secret is not self-destruction, self-mutilation, or violence. My greatest catharsis will be found in the love I give. The more I love, the better I feel. However, it is not romantic love I am refering to; no. If there is anything my journey so far has taught me it is that romantic love fades away. The love I am talking about is the love that I promised her many years ago. It is the unconditional, unrelenting love of a true friendship. That love lasts forever. A tear came to my eye.
To my best friend. I am truely sorry. Can you ever forgive me?
Sincerely,
The Friendly Wanderer.
